Hello blogging friends! This is going to be a very personal post. I hesitated to write it. Once I'd said what I want to say I was worried about getting nasty comments from any of my ideological opponents, most notably Jane. Plus, what I have to say isn't the most pleasant thing to talk about, but I decided that my loyal blogging friends deserve to know what's going with li'l ol' me. So here goes.
As of yesterday, Tuesday May 11, I'm 99% sure I have breast cancer. On Monday I was 100% sure I have the disease, but during my visit to my surgeon, Dr. C, on Tuesday I was shown my actual pathology report which was some what inconclusive. The report doesn't say my biopsy was positive for breast cancer; instead it says there was "extensive" dead cell proliferation "consistent with necrotic carcinoma" (necrotic means dead). Sounds like cancer, doesn't it? But the path report also says, twice, that "[n]o viable tumor was identified". So I'm a bit confused, though my surgeon is proceeding on the opinion that I do, in fact, have breat cancer. I understand and accept that.
Tomorrow I have to go for genetic testing. This was suggested to me by a nurse at my local cancer resource center. Dr. C concurred on getting the test. He said I need to know if I have a certain cancer-causing gene because that could have a bearing on the best way to treat my disease. But there won't be any treatment of any kind until after I see my oncologist on Friday. After that the next step is to have another biopsy, most likely a surgical one. If it comes back conclusively positive for breast cancer then I will have some serious decisions to make. And that's all there is medically, right now.
You might be wondering how I'm doing emotionally, and the answer is, fine. Finding the lump in my breast back in March and then finding out it's most likely cancer threw me for a loop. I'm doing ok, though. My outlook is totally positive. I'm praying hard and there are many other people praying for me, too. Despite the prayers, I get scared or depressed occassionally. Mostly, though, I'm in good spirits. I decided that it just wouldn't do any good to be bitter and wallow in self-pity. Having hope and faith and a merry heart is the way to go. And that's what I'm doing. No matter what happens I choose to believe that I will be alright. I have too many leftists to fight to let a little cancer slow me down!
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers!
Your blogging buddy,